Post Traumatic Abortion Syndrome Exists

Post Traumatic Abortion Syndrome Exists

I know that people say there is no such thing as Post Traumatic Abortion Syndrome. I would beg to differ with them. I have lived it every day for 11 years and really never even knew it. I am 27, so as you can see that is a big chunck out of my life. My first abortion was 11 years ago June, and my second, 8 years ago Christmas Eve this year. Quite by accident I recently attended a Training Seminar for counseling women who have experienced abortion. Had I known what it was, I would not have gone... I wrote out a check and mailed it without even calling to see exactly what it was about. I just knew God wanted me there.

It was a Friday evening and all day Saturday seminar. Looking at the pro-life brochures and listening to the speaker, I came to a memory I could not push back anymore. I had to admit to myself that I had had two abortions, not just one. I have been unable to cope with that fact for almost 8 years now. Yes, deep down I knew, but I could not register that thought in my mind. I could not accept that. I had told my husband about my first abortion before our marriage, but now after almost seven years of marriage and two children, I had to tell him that I had an abortion four months before we met and just short of a year before we married.

The two worst times to be around me have been June and, of course, Christmas Eve. In June, I start preparing for Christmas. I have to have everything done. All shopping and everything, because I cannot cope during the holidays. I never had a clue why, until the speaker at the seminar said "sometimes women experience depression during or around the anniversary of their abortion(s)." It hit me like a ton of bricks. I literally shut down around the holidays and afterwards I am okay, (if that is what you call it), but for seven months every year I have been battling demons I did not understand.

I believe that this is the place God wants me to be. I am going through a 10-step recovery program put out by Victim's of Choice and then will eventually become a facilitator and counsel women at the center where I volunteer. I feel like I am "at home" when I am at our center. I cannot describe the feeling I have, but it is one of pure joy and immense relief.

Kimberly Henson