OK men, listen up:
Here is another prayerful nugget that could possibly help you, if you have the desire to fulfill God’s mandate for Biblical manhood.
We have to deal with our inherent anger issues. The Apostle Paul taught, “Be angry, but do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26). The first part of this passage is a command that we typically have no problem obeying. Apparently, in some way, God wants us to be angry. It is the second part, however, that most men fail.
As in all things godly, we should love what God loves and hate what God hates. This is the key to His precious anointing that we need resting upon our lives in service to Him and others God has entrusted to our care (Hebrews 1:9).
There is such a thing as righteous indignation in God’s economy. The Lord, Himself, expresses this virtue. I believe this is what the Lord desires in His men when the command is given to “Be angry.”
In 1st Corinthians 16:13, 14, the Apostle Paul follows up, “Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love.” God is challenging men to be men. To play a man’s part. To fulfill the role of being a man. Here our anger must be guided by faith, strength (God presupposes strength in the male and calls the woman the weaker vessel), and love.
If these other virtues are not there to temper our “anger management” issues, we will sin. And we will typically sin against the very ones who are near and dear to hearts, our own wives and children.
Most men struggle to grow up emotionally. We tend to be little boys in men’s bodies emotionally. When we face the pressures and stresses of our responsibilities, we seem to think we have permission to unload our frustrations upon our families. It maybe our safe place, but not so much for our wives and children. We must exercise self-control. BTW, self control is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22).
God’s Word commands, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Men, if our prayers are not going higher than our ceiling in our rooms, we may want to check how we are treating our wives.
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them” Apparently, God knew the great temptation men would face in marriage would be to become bitter against their wives. The Apostle Paul demanded by the authority of the Holy Ghost to “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice” (Ephesians 4;31).
When it comes to raising our children, God’s Word teaches, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4)
How do we take these lofty admonishments to heart and implement them in our lives as men? Good question. It took sometime, but I learned to separate the demands of life, challenging circumstances, and unpleasant situations from impacting my behavior towards my family.
We must not allow the “tyranny of the urgent” to become a robber of God moments that the Lord meant for our enjoyment and contentment in our families. In saying these things, I’m not saying, there is not a time to raise our voices or to become negligent in disciplining our families. But our righteous goal should be tenderness in relationship with our wives and children in this harsh world.
If we have sinned against them by taking out our frustrations upon them, we should go and humble yourself and confess our sin to them. James 5:16 points the way, “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”
A few times in my life, I had to get down on my knees in front of my children to beg their forgiveness for outbursts of anger, which the Apostle Paul declared to be a work of the flesh (Galatians 5:20). My children disobeyed and they needed discipline. What they did not need was me adding sin by taking challenging issues of the battle outside of the home and unloading it upon them. As men, we desperately need to discern this difference.
Being a godly man, husband, and father is not for the faint of heart. It is extremely demanding, if you intend to do it in a God-honoring way. Sometimes, it is necessary to teach our children, not just by word, but by example what it means to be a godly Christian. It is not a man that is perfect, but a man who is blameless as he seeks to love not just by word only, but by deed and truth (1 John 3:18).
What is the take away from this admonishment today as men? We must consciously separate from our families the daily battles that we face and learn not to take out our frustrations upon them. I hope this helps many men, their wives and children in Jesus’ name!
Keep pressing on to the high call and prize saints!
